Alright, and welcome to the 10th annual... Dragonbites(tm) Creature Challenge Contest!!! Our contestants today are Vall, Istvan, Kenji, and Will! Let's give'em a round of applause! ( Yaaaaaay. ) ( yay... ) [ There is applause from the live studio audience. ] And here's our mascot, Santa Klauth! * Vall mutters to himself in Undercommon. * A giant, and I mean *GIANT* red dragon comes from behind the stage (What stage? How did it fit back there? *shrugs*) and greets you all in the squeekiest little girl voice possible. "Are you ready to take the Dragonbites(tm) (part of this complete breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack) Creature Challenge?!" * Vall nods. Today you'll be battling for fun, prizes, and most importantly... Phat lewt!" * Istvan raises an eyebrow. "Sure." * HKenji pops open a bottle of Arrogant Bastard Ale and drinks deeply. "Bring it." Lewt is always good I guess. * Santa Klauth holds out one of his/her/its claws, which has a gargantuan 'lewt'. "Here's the key, now put it in the keyhole over there to start the challenge!" * The dragon drops the lewt on the ground with a thud. It's big, probably taking at least two of you to put in the hole. Ist, I think this is your department.... I can help a bit, though. * Istvan shrugs, holsters his war pick, and walks over to the key to try'n pick it up. * Vall heads over and casts Bull's Strength on Istvan. * Istvan almost lifts it, then realizes he'd like his back in one pice... When Vall casts that spell and makes it so he can lift it easily. So, yeah. Go ahead. Put it in. :P ... thanks. Was just a bit too heavy for me before. No problem. * Istvan lumbers over to the door, and inserts key into lock. And then TURNS KEY! * The key TURNS! And... * Well, a trap door opens and you fall thru a portal. Har! * The room materialzes around you, all of you standing and ready to fight. Yes, all of you. Don't ask me how. * There's... Kobolds. Lots of Kobolds. Like, twenty or so. And they're all around you. Can I please have init? * Vall draws his bow, and looks for the leader of the kobolds. Well, this should be easy. * HKenji takes a quick hop forward, draws his katana, and slices a kobold in half. My cause is just, my will is strong, and my sword is very, very sharp. * The Kobolds look at their fallen comrade, but don't have time to react when... * Vall decides to forgoe the magic, and just attacks two kobolds with arrows. * Vall hits both, one right between the eyes. * Istvan charges for the biggest concentration of kobolds he can find, swinging with his war pick. * Istvan swings into the first kobold's chest with enough force to tear it in half. * Istvan rears back and swings again, impaling two in the head of his pick. He then lifts his foot, kicks them off the blade, and resets himself. * Will decides to trust his sword for once and charges in swinging. * Will chops a kobold in half, feeling powerful physically for the first time in his life. And then the Kobolds attack! And... Most of them either miss, bounce off armor, but one of them actually hits and draws blood from Kenji. Oh boy, that one's dead. You're very stupid. And you're about to be very stupid and very dead. * HKenji cuts that kobold in half, and the one beside him, for good measure. * Vall fires two arrows at the kobolds closing on him, and drops both. * Istvan charges at the nearest clump of kobolds, war pick upraised. * Istvan chops horizontally, literally tearing a kobolds' torso away. Its head hangs in the air for a moment, then falls to the ground. * Istvan slips on the blood, and his next swing goes wide. "Crap!" * Will starts to get the hang of this and swings at another kobold withing range. * Will hits nothing but air. * And all the Kobolds hit you. But very weakly. VERY weakly. As in, it doesn't even do damage. Or rip Kenji's kimono. * HKenji wears a kimono done all up in brown and gold, the colors of the Lion. * HKenji has a good kimono. It is not prone to ripping and tearing. * HKenji will LEVEL MOST RIGHTEOUS WRATH UPON THE HEAD OF ANYBODY WHO DAMAGES HIS KIMONO. * HKenji relieves a kobold of its most precious parts. (... I think I speak for everyone when I say... eww?) Interesting technique, Kenji. It works. * HKenji glassesglints, in spite of not wearing glasses. Impressive. * Vall shoots at another two, impaling them nicely in various body parts that weren't intended to take damage. * Istvan switches to the blunt side of his war pick, and golfs a shot into a kobold's chin, knocking its head about 20 feet. * Istvan then spins the pick around, and bisects a second kobols horizontally. * The Kobolds look around, look at eachother, then run in the direction of the closest exit as fast as they can. * Will swings with all his might, and misses yet again!! >.< * Istvan intercepts one fleeing kobold with his pick, knocking its spleen out its back. Along with a few other organs, but who cares about those? * HKenji relieves the last kobold's torso of its legs. ... Good job! That was round one of three. Ready for round 2? * HKenji flicks the last of the blood picturesquely off his blade and slides it home. Com'on, do your victory poses. You know you want to! * Vall twirls his bow over his head for the crowd. * The last Kobold vanishes and a phat lewt appears in its place. * Istvan shakes the blood off of his pick. * Will ^_^_v * Vall , the greedy one, goes over to check out the phat lewt * HKenji pulls a rose from his sleeve and holds it delicately under his nose. * The phat lewt floats there... And the instant Vall touches it, the room goes black. AFTER the victory poses, of course. (And when I say phat lewt, I mean fat lute. :P) *muttered* bastard... * Vall drops down into a combat stance, nocking an arrow for when the lights come on. * The lights come on, and there's a very stocky man in black full plate, twirling a chain about him wildly. "Who's da foo' that be sendin' da foo's down here?! Foo'!" Hey, foo's! What'chu doin' down here?! Foo'! (The distance is a good fifty feet from him to you.) * HKenji snorts and tosses the rose at Dr T's feet. "I withdraw from this... competition." * HKenji leaves via the simple expedient of disappearing in a puff of rose petals. Sure you do! You are outta' here! Foo'! ... I'm not gonna kick his ass for leaving. I *am* gonna kick his ass for that exit. * Vall frowns, and casts Bull's Strength on himself and on Will. * Will stares. "I didn't know he could do that." * Istvan mutters. "I mean, roses? C'mon. Everyone knows that you use poppies." Beats my sneezes. Now, are you gonna attack me or am I gonna lay the royal smack down on you foo's? * Istvan steps between Vall and Dr. T, while giving Vall a clear shooting lane. "Vall? If you'd be so kind as to take advantage of the distance?" No problem. * Vall decides to rain arrows upon him, sacrificing a little accuracy for speed. I think we're in trouble. * Dr. T just stands there, the arrows impacting his armor and having no effect. What was that girlymen?! He's got Full Plate. s'gonna be tough sledding. You just a bunch of foo's! * Vall reaches out with his arm, cocks the hand so that it's outstretched towards Dr_T, palm up, and waves him forward. * Dr_T jumps forward and takes a stance with all of you within 10 feet of him. His chains whirl, and one end becomes sheathed in fire, and the other one frosts in ice. "Red says I should give you foo's a chance, so you guys got another chance. Hurt me, I dare ya." Foo's. * Will prays. "Divine guidance looks good right about now." *prayer* * Istvan shrugs. "If you say so." *slides foward, bringing his pickaxe down diagonally from the right* * Vall drops back about five feet, and lets the bruiser have it with a triple- magic-missile. (correction) * Dr_T lashes out with his chain after seeing Vall's movement. "Oh, you're casting? I don't think so foo'!" * The chain extends and interrupts the spell Vall was casting, as well as doing a number on the elf. Don't go messin' wit' me. I'm helluva tuff! * Vall flies backwards about 10 feet from the hit. Foo'! Still alive Vall? I'm not dead yet. Com'on! Foo's. Just gotta remember to move back more... ... Okay, time for me to lay the smack-down, foo's! * Dr_T lashes out and attacks Istvan first, ignoring the other two. * Istvan gets whacked once upside his unprotected head, and once in the side. "... ow." * Will springs to slap Istvan with a mega healing spell. *spring attack cure critical wound* * Istvan grunts a thanks to Will, then lays into Dr. T with two swings. * Dr_T lets the first one chink off his armor, but the second hits him underneath his arm, where it does seem to deal damage. "You goin' down after that one, foo'!" * Vall pulls himself back another ten feet, and casts Negative Energy Ray at T. * Dr_T takes the ray in the gut. "After you, magic foo'!" * Dr_T runs to Vall now, swinging his chains wildly at the magic castin' foo'. * Vall tries to get out of the way, dodging one blow, but taking the other dead center. * Will springs to slap Vall with a mega healing spell. Thanks... * Istvan swings twice at Dr. T while he's busy mangling Vall. I needed that... * Will grins. "You're welcome" * Dr_T ignores Will because, guess what, Spring attack doesn't let you do AoO's on people when you do that. * Dr_T gets thuged in the back by one hit, but the second one he blocks with his chain. "Alright, you all goin' down now!" Foo's. * Vall drops the bow, and pulls out the sword, slicing upwards diagonally with it. * Vall fails to get through the armor, however.... * Dr_T spins around, swinging his chain in every-which way and slicing at all opponents in the area. * Vall ducks just in time * Will watches the chain bounce off his shiny platemail. * Istvan gets klonked in the ribs, hard enough to feel through his platemail. "... I repeat. Ow." * Will calls holy fire down on Dr_T's head! *flamestrike* * Dr_T dies in a burst of firey energy death stuff yeah. You haven't heard the last of Dr. T, foo'! Bite me. * Dr_T vanishes right after doing just that. [ A phat lewt appears right where he was. ] ( See, this is where he becomes more powerful than you can possibly imagine. ) Good job! That was a tough one, wasn't it? I hurt where I haven't hurt before... * Will nods nods You guys got one more round to go. Are you going to go for it?! Are you man enough to stop the evil?! No. I'll take my current winnings and sneeze my way home. Pfft, that's no fun. They have no chance of winning if you don't stay. I'm gone, too. I don't even know why I'm here. Coming, Will? Well, fine, if you feel that way. Just do a finishing pose and end it in the gayest way possible, and you're out of here! Yeah. Although I'm curious to what's the third enemy going to be You'll never know if you don't keep going. Oh, and your winnings are secured. There's nothing to lose by losing! Worse comes to worse, we can disappear like Kenji did. except with poppies. (I'll make it quick and painless. Trust me. :P) ... Oooor, he could sneeze. (And by gayest, he means happiest.) ... not curious at all. * Istvan leaves. Awww, pooey. Well. Seeing as I'm not a combat character... Wait for me Istvan!! * There's a snap and Will vanishes as well. "Well Trotzvan, maybe next time. * What sounds to be a kobold speaks up in draconic in the back ground. [It's over!]